Climate Activist Stops Breathing To Reduce CO2 Emissions

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Sydney, Australia - A local Sydney man is being hailed a hero after deciding to stop breathing to reduce his carbon footprint.
Kilmi, a 32 year old climate scientist from the Sydney University Of Science (SUS), announced his intention to stop breathing on his Facebook, Instagram, Threads, Snapchat, Wechat and Tiktok profiles.
Our reporter, who was invited by Kilmi to the protest labelled “Just Stop Breathing”, told our reporter it was the only logical conclusion.
“The average human releases about 1kg (2.3lb) of carbon dioxide each day,” Kilmi noted, his face beginning to appear bright red, “If we extrapolate over 90 years, that’s almost 33 tonnes!”
“Everyone should stop breathing if we want to save the planet, except for cute little puppies - they deserve a carbon offset!”
Kilmi then decided to stop speaking, ensuring no further carbon dioxide left his mouth and nose.
A student doctor, who was present to supervise and film, had nothing but praise for his actions.
“Very few people have the courage to act on their convictions. That’s why I wanted to film it and show the others in my class.”
“Maybe we can convince some of our patients to stop breathing!”
While the university did not condone nor condemn the actions of Kilmi, the event caught the attention of a professor and WEF member known as “Professor Mike”.
Deeply interested in the situation, Professor Mike proposed a study to determine how many people need to stop breathing to solve climate change.
DISCLAIMER
This article is satire. Don’t try this at home!
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