Katter Declares Sovereign State To Tackle Youth Crime
Innisfail, Queensland - Fed up with Queensland’s approach to youth crime, Bob Katter has used the Christmas break to secede his electorate to found The Republic Of Katterstan.
The declaration of independence was made at his Innisfail electoral office, now serving as a makeshift Parliament building and rebellion headquarters.
Our reporter, who was leaving the nearby hobby shop, witnessed the event as it unfolded. He was second on the scene apart from 5 teenage boys wearing balaclavas.
“I’m sick and tired of city slickers telling us how to solve country problems,” announced Katter from a megaphone, standing on the tray of his Toyota Hilux.
“I’m starting a new country to put down the threat of youth crime, which is ravaging our great nation.”
“In Katterstan, the people's militia protect us from enemies home and abroad. Youth crime at home, Milesy and Albo abroad!”
“Long live Katterstan!”
Premier Miles wasted no time responding to the wayward minister, holding a press conference within the hour.
“Listen here ya cheeky grub!” Miles countered, “You can’t just steal a piece of land nearly triple the size of Victoria.”
“We’ll turn your electorate into a colony if you keep this up!”
Prime Minister Albanese was also sought for comment, but appeared uninterested in the situation.
His response was simple and matter-of-fact:
“Hold a referendum.”
Disclaimer
This article is satire. Don’t start a sovereign state!
I know I said I’d wait until Jan 1st, but then I thought Saturday is a good day to send emails out :)
Previous Article: Man Sues Employer After Soul Was "Destroyed" At Work