Joe Rogan Reveals Neuralink Implant, Makes "Young Jamie" Redundant
The stunning revelation was made on the last episode of his podcast featuring Elon Musk.
Rogan, now 56, detailed the impact of this life-altering decision in a prepared statement.
“Dear friends. In May of this year, I became the first person to undergo a successful procedure to have a Neuralink installed in my head.”
“Since then, the changes in my life have been radical. I have access to the sum of all human knowledge and have become the smartest human alive, except for Elon, but I still can’t tell if he’s fully human.”
Joe paused for a moment to collect himself. Elon placed a tentacle on his shoulder as a sign of support for his friend.
“As I explore this next stage of human evolution, I have also been pondering the future of this podcast…”
He took a deep breath. A single tear dropping from his right eye.
“That’s why I’ve decided that Young Jamie is no longer needed to ‘pull things up’ for me, and we have reached a mutually agreed upon settlement.”
“I wish Jamie all the best in his future endeavours, and ask that you respect both our privacy at this time.”
Our reporter, who was forced to watch this podcast episode, was deeply moved.
Joe then preceded to order a large double pineapple anchovy pizza using only his mind, and went onto claim that a grizzly bear would “for sure defeat a CyberTruck in a street fight”.
Jamie was last seen roaming the streets of Austin, desperately begging strangers to let him “pull things up” for them.