Hamas Praises Western Intellectuals At Office Christmas Party
Undisclosed Location - Hamas leaders have paid tribute to Western academics at their Office Christmas Party, hosted in a dining hall with cement walls.
Our reporter, who was given exclusive access to the festivities, was required to make the 8 hour journey wearing a blindfold.
“This year has provided many opportunities to weaken the Jewish state and their population”, remarked Ismail Haniyeh, Chairman Of The Hamas Political Bureau.
“However the contribution of some does not get the recognition it deserves.”
As he finished his sentence, waiters emerged from a thick vaulted door to distribute glasses of sherbet, a non-alcoholic drink made of ice and fruit juice.
“Western intellectuals and college students are our greatest champions outside the Middle East.”
“They provide much needed assistance to our organisation, and are easy to persuade.”
“To those of you who support the extermination of Jews without a second thought, we salute you!”
Haniyeh then pronounced a toast in Arabic, “Nakhbak!”, clinking glasses with others on his table.
Before the long journey home, Haniyeh also requested that ‘Queers For Palestine’ join next year’s party.
Disclaimer
This is satire. We aren't taking a side on the war. We are criticising blind following, which anyone is capable of!
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