Disney Replaces CEO With A Mouse To Promote Diversity
⚠️ The following is a work of satire ⚠️
California, USA - In an unprecedented move, The Walt Disney Company has replaced CEO Bob Iger with a literal mouse.
It comes as Disney faces numerous challenges including expensive movie flops, incessant woke preaching and legal battles in Florida.
“Three months ago, the Disney board met to determine the fitness of Bob Iger as CEO”, announced Kristina Schake, VP of Global Communications.
“After much discussions, they decided he is not the right fit moving forward.”
“We searched far and wide for a replacement, and we found the perfect candidate to get the wheel turning again”.
Kristina bent down to pick up a small cage at her feet, then placed it on the table in front of her.
“Ladies and gentlemen, meet our new CEO - Mickey, the mouse”.
The news was met with loud audible gasps from the crowd, according to our on-site reporter. Mickey squeaked in response, but appeared a little shy.
“At Disney, we believe who you are should not limit what you’re able to accomplish, and that we needed a diverse and underrepresented voice to be our CEO.”
“For many years, a mouse has propelled the success of our company, and today we hope to capitalise on what worked well for us in the past.”
As press were invited to ask questions, our reporter took the opportunity to ask how the appointment of Mickey might impact investor confidence.
“I’m sure they’ll come along with us on the journey. Next question!” replied Kristina.
Disclaimer
This article is satire.
Previous Article: Jordan Petersen Tells Gunman To "Aim For A Meaningful Life!"